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I’m in love with the word love

So inspired with the feeling

So high with emotions.

It’s a like a dose of my favorite drug…

lift me thru air and never return to consciousness.

 An over-powering strength that I can never defeat and loose till the end.

Is it possible for me not to look for the one, yet unconsciously waiting for someone to make things right?

Is it possible that the more I hate to admit that I need someone, the more I needed that someone?

Am I pretending to be happy or am I just fooling myself to believing that I am?

 And I’m still waiting…..

Looking on afar…

Admitting to myself….

Unconsciously…

That I am…

hoping for someone to be there….

annib

Noong nakaraang Desyembre ay nagkaron muli ng pagtitipon ang grupong Panday Pira.  Ito ang ikalawang christmas party na aking na organize.  Mas kaunti kami ngayon di katulad noong 2005.

Sino-sino nga ba ang dumalo?

1.  Bong

2.  Rica

3.  Judith

4.  Rench

5.  Mikl

6.  Angel

7.  Iking

8.  Ako

9.  At si Jhigs na humbol

 

Si jhigs nga ginising ko pa para lang makarating.  In short tulog na sya.  Napagod siguro sa paglalaba, pagluluto, paglilinis ng bahay at pag aalaga ng bata.  Dakilang house-band kasi sya eh.

Medyo nakakatampo dahil konti lang ang dumating.  Tulad ng ibang Panday members eh gusto rin nilang makita at maki balita sa mga dating kasama.  Eh ganon talaga ang buhay… may kanya-kanya na kaming buhay.  Di na siguro importante sa kanila yung samahan.  Nakakalungkot naman.

Pero hindi pa rin ako magsasawang mag organize ng reunion para makasama muli ang mga dating kaibigan.

i miss you

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn’t think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can’t explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.
I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I’m wasting away.
I know I’ll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

oo

Di mo lang alam

Naiiisip kita

Baka sakali lang maisip mo ako

Di mo lang alam

Hanggang sa gabi inaasam makita kang muli

Nagtapos ang lahat sa di inaasahang pahanon

At ngayon ako’y iyong iniwan

Luhaan, sugatan, ‘di mapakinabangan

Sana’y nagtanong ka lang

Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Sana’y nagtanong ka lang

Kung ‘di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman

Hindi mo lang alam

Kay tagal na panahon

Ako’y nandirito pa rin hanggang ngayon para sa’yo

Lumipas mga araw na ubod ng saya

‘Di pa rin nagbabago ang aking pagsinta

Kung ako’y nagkasala patawad na sana

Puso kong pagal ngayon lang nagmahal

‘Di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman

Puro s’ya na lang

Sana’y ako naman

‘Di mo lang alam

Ika’y minamasdan

Sana’y iyong mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

‘Di mo lang alam

Kahit tayo’y magkaibigan lang

Bumabalik ang lahat sa tuwing nagkukulitan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman

Ako’y nandito lang

Hindi mo lang alam

Matalino ka naman

Kung ikaw at ako

Ay tunay na bigo sa laro na ito

Ay dapat bang sumuko

Sana hindi ka na lang pala aking nakilala

Kung alam ko lang ako’y masasaktan ng ganito

 Sana’y nakinig na lang ako sa nanay ko

‘Di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan

Baka sakali lang maisip mo naman

 Puro s’ya na lang

 Sana’y ako naman

‘Di mo lang alam

O, ika’y minamasdan

Sana iyo’y mamalayang hindi mo lang pala alam

Oooooooo

Malas mo

Ikaw ang natipuhan ko

Di mo lang alam

Ako’y iyong nasaktan

by:  up dharma down

let me go

it was supposed to be over

but then here you are again….

trying to start something i don’t understand

here you are again and i’m back to where it start

 

now i’m looking forward again to everyday that i’ll see you

now i’m hanging on again hoping something would turn out nice

though i want it over….

here you are again teasing me…

and making me feel everything that i’ve missed….

then you’ll be gone….

leaving me hanging on….

oh i really want this over….

so please let me go

just this morning on my way to work… riding the usual bus i rode every single day…. hayep sa trip sa mamang driver.  naka-tune-in sa love radio…juke box classic man!  kainis.  ganda pa naman ng mood ko.  biglang makakarinig ka ng kantang…. walang kaliwaan…walang churva chenes….  saka yung lunis…martis….myerkulis…. pag pinikit ko mata ko feeling ko nasa kabaret ako….kaloka!

hindi yan ang sunday music para sa akin.  para sa akin sunday music RJ 100.  o di ba.  kasi noong maliliit pa kami every sunday is family day.  kumpleto kami sa bahay.  walang pwedeng umalis.  araw ng paglalaba ni mama.  si papa naman nagkakarpintero ng kahit anong pwedeng kumpunihin sa bahay.  tapos naka tune in na kami sa RJ 100.  mga oldies but goodies.  yung mga classic songs na namemorize ko na pero hindi ko alam ang title.  o di kaya beatles.  i grew up listening to beatles.  halos naman kaming lahat lalo na si kuya.  di ko masyadong trip si elvis.  meron pang matt monroe, di ko na maalala yung iba.  basta pag narinig ko alam ko pero di ko alam ang title. 

kaya itong si mamang driver kakabad trip.  baka broken hearted kaya ganun ang trip nyang songs.  sira pa naman earphones ng mp4 player ko.  tiis na lang ako sa… walang kaliwaan…walang churva chenes…..

CRAZY HOLDING ON

Once there was a man who had an orange shirt.
Once there was a girl who went out dancing in a skirt.
Once there was a park they found they fed the frantic ducks.
Once there was a couple, happy, who couldn’t believe their luck.

Once they went out dancing, and a candled dinner date.
Once early in the morning she surrendered to her fate.
Once he said “I love you” and she had to love him too.
Once they had a future, happy when one and one made two.

Now they are both lonely, now they live alone.
Now he has a cold and empty (tidy) hollow home.
Now she has a fountain, tears where once there was a heart.
Now he has decided that they really have to part.

Now that he has nothing, he feels he is complete.
Now that she can’t dance again, her heart weighs down her feet.
Now he thinks about her, all the memories locked away.
Now he tries so hard to forget the happy laughing days.

Is she thinking of him still? Does she cry still, now and then?
Is she ever going to win back the man she loves again?
Is he glad it’s over? Can he get on with his life?
Is he really so very certain she would have made a useless wife?

Given all the laughter, fun and sunny times they had.
Given all the heartache, lies and times he made her mad.
Given all the tears now, the loneliness and pain.
Given all the risks, would she do it all again?

Can he really say that he won’t want her back one day?
Can he really like his life now better in this way?
Can he forget her face, the mess, the giggles and the love?
Can he find someone else to love him more than she could love?

If she really loved him, he said she’d let him go.
If he understood her feelings then he would know that it’s not so.
If he were less stubborn, if she could care much less.
If they had never spoken there wouldn’t be this sorry mess.

But time has taken prisoners, their lives are now entwined.
But even if they never meet again, the past is not left behind.
But can she start all over? Just forget him and move on?
But even if she can, will he be glad with what he’s won?

Is that really what he wants, to never see her smiling face again?
Will it make him happy, will he live on without pain?
Will he be thinking of her, is he too proud to cry?
Will it wrench his heart in two if he sees her kiss another guy?

And can she forgive his faults, and accept him as he is.
She wants to have him back and say there’s nothing to forgive.
He’s told her that she’s crazy, that he may never want her back.
She’s told him that she loves him and though its a risk, she’ll live with that.

She wants him to live with patience, to give him time to heal.
The past is not yet over and it’s left a scar so real.
We don’t choose who we can love, and love doesn’t really die.
You can find it in your heart again, I love you, so please try.

waiting in vain

I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
From the very first time I blessed my eyes on you, girl
My heart says, “Follow through.”
But I know now that I’m way down on your line
But the waiting feel is fine
So don’t treat me like a puppet on a string
‘Cause I know how to do my thing
Don’t talk to me as if you think I’m dumb
I wanna know when you’re gonna come

See, I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
‘Cause it’s summer is here
I’m still waiting there
Winter is here and I’m still waiting there
Like I said,
It’s been three years since I’m knocking on your door
And I still can knock some more
Ooh, girl, ooh, girl
Is it feasible, I wanna know now
For I to knock some more?

Ya see, in life I know there’s lots of grief
But your love is my relief
Tears in my eyes burn
Tears in my eyes burn while I’m waiting
While I’m waiting for my turn.

See, I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
I don’t wanna wait in vain for your love
Oh, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna
No, I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna
I don’t wanna wait in vain.

It’s your love that I’m waiting on
It’s my love that you’re running from.
(Repeat)

hindi talaga kinaya ng powers ko ang ginawa ng friend ko.  grabe!  ni sa hinagap di ko maiisip na magagawa ko yun. 

bakit ba nagkakaganito ang mga kababaihan ngayon?  hindi ako conservative pero masyadong malalakas ang loob ng mga ito.  ito ang mga classic example.

case # 1 si aileen.  nabuntis noong college palang kami.  pero hindi naman sya pinanagutan ng nakabuntis sa kanya.  nagkaron ng asawa at nagkaanak ng lima pa.  pero yung pang limang anak nya ay hindi sa asawa nya.  meaning….. sa ka churva nya.  at take note… kumpare pa nilang mag-asawa.  hay naku!  aatakihin yata ako sa puso.  pero ngayon ay hiwalay na sila.  nahuli na sya ng asawa nya pero hindi pa rin alam ng dati nyang asawa na hindi sya ang ama ng bunso.

case # 2 si mary jane. magmula ng naka graduate ako wala na akong balita sa kanya.  may nag chika na lang na may tatlong anak na rin.  happily married daw.  pero yung pangatlong anak din nya ay hindi sa asawa nya.  kay kumapre nanaman na kapitbahay lang nila.  stroke naman ang aabutin ko sa kanya.  hanggang ngayon ay di pa rin alam ng asawa nya na hindi sa kanya ang bunso.

case # 3 si consolacion.  hanep sa name ‘no!  dalawa palang ang anak nila noong magkaron sila ng problem na mag-asawa.  marami syang expectations sa asawa nya na hindi nya makita.  naloko sa pakikipag chat at na attract sa isang lalaki na complete opposite ng kanyang asawa.  lahat ng hinahanap nya nandito na sa lalaking ito.  in short, nagkaron sila ng relasyon.  hiniwalayan nya ang asawa nya.  si lalaki hiniwalayan din ang asawa.  pero eventually na realize nya ang epekto ng hiwalayan sa mga bata.  nag decide syang bumalik sa pamilya nya at iniwan nya si others.  hindi maganda ang naging epekto nito kay others.  kahit mahal na mahal nila ang isa’t-isa, sinakripisyo nya ang nararamdaman nya para lang sa mga bata.  nagkabalikan silang mag-asawa.  si others naman ay pumunta na sa ibang bansa para makalimot.  nagbuntis sya uli at ngayon ay naging maswerte silang mag-asawa.  naging maayos ang kanilang pagsasama.  pero ang sabi nya, gusto nya pag dumating ang panahon at nag krus ang landas nila ni others, sana ay mahal na mahal na nya ang kanyang asawa para hindi na sya magkasala pang muli.

case # 4 si anggie.  heto talaga heart attack at stroke ang aabutin ko dito.  given na tarantado at abnormal ang asawa nya.  sinasaktan sya.  pabaya.  walang respeto sa kanya at hindi sila sinusuportahan ng maayos financially.  lahat ng dahilan para hiwalayan nya ang asawa nya nasa kanya na.  bigla na lang isang araw ay nabanggit nya na parang may others.  parang palang.  heto na ngayon.  isang gabi ay nawala.  hindi makontak.  walang nakakaalam kung nasaan sya.  nang maswertehan kong makontak, kasama na nya si others.  hindi talaga kinaya ng powers ko.  ako ang natatakot para sa kanya.  walang kaalam-alam ang asawa nya kung nasan sya.  at ang asawa sa akin tumatawag.  baka akalain pa ng asawa nya tinatago ko sya.  sana man lang hinintay muna nyang maghiwalay silang mag-asawa bago sya gumawa ng ganun. 

ang akin lang…nasa loob kayo ng isang sagradong relasyon.  kung di na talaga sila masaya sa kanilang relasyon eh tapusin muna ito saka lumipat sa iba.  ito ang tama para sa akin.  pero para sa mga taong nasa ganitong sitwasyon, yun ang tama para sa kanila.

iba-iba tayo ng pananaw. iba-iba tayo ng takbo ng pag-iisip.  nirerespeto ko ang desisyon at opinyon nila.  pero talagang hindi lang talaga makaya ng powers ko yun.  ang takot ko lang ‘no!

the prayer

I pray you’ll be our eyes, and watch us where we go.
And help us to be wise in times when we don’t know
Let this be our prayer, when we lose our way
Lead us to the place, guide us with your grace
To a place where we’ll be safe

La luce che tu hai
I pray we’ll find your light
nel cuore resterà
and hold it in our hearts.
a ricordarci che
When stars go out each night,
eterna stella sei

The light you have
I pray we’ll find your light
will be in the heart
and hold it in our hearts.
to remember us that
When stars go out each night,
you are eternal star
Nella mia preghiera
Let this be our prayer
quanta fede c’è
when shadows fill our day

How much faith there’s
Let this be our prayer
in my prayer
when shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza
un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace, di fraternità

We dream a world without violence
a world of justice and faith.
Everyone gives the hand to his neighbours
Symbol of peace, of fraternity
La forza che ci dà
We ask that life be kind
è il desiderio che
and watch us from above
ognuno trovi amor
We hope each soul will find
intorno e dentro sé
another soul to love

The force his gives us
We ask that life be kind
is wish that
and watch us from above
everyone finds love
We hope each soul will find
around and inside
another soul to love
Let this be our prayer
Let this be our prayer, just like every child

Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe
Need to find a place, guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we’ll be safe

È la fede che
hai acceso in noi,
sento che ci salverà

It’s the faith
you light in us
I feel it will save us

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